I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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