I'm drive I can fine osifer
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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