"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
