I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
