i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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