Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I died a long time ago.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
