Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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