i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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