Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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