question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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