...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
