So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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