i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
