How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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