your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
