love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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