I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
