you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
