I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wish my penis had a tongue
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
