my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
