remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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