I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
