I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
