what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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