i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we have officially lost it.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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