these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
