My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
