I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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