I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
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Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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