i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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