There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
