I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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