I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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