i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
