You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Houston, we have a squirter
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
