All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I know her cup size but not her name....
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