I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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