what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
