I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
