If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
