well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
