all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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