I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
