I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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