I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
