Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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