Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We need to rekindle our bromance
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
