Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
