ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
two words...techno handjob
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was a blind-side dick pic.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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