Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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