Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
