My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
