drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
