You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
