mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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