I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
