I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
