I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
