Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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