I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
