That's intense
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
