woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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