I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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