woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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